my boyfriend and i have anal sex because i want to wait until i’m married to have regular sex. is this safe?
Unpublished post, originally written 11/30/08 for my now defunct state of sex education blog on gURL.
Q: My boyfriend and I have anal sex because I want to wait until I’m married to have regular sex. Do we still need to use condoms? And is it dangerous for him to ejaculate inside me?
A: A lot of people are really into anal sex, but if you are using it as a way to preserve your virginity, you might not be getting the benefits you are hoping for.
While pregnancy isn’t a risk from anal, STDs are. Everything from HIV to HPV and chlamydia can be spread anally. So, yes, it is crucial to use a condom, and yes, ejaculating increases your risk.
You should also know that plenty of folks believe that you lose your virginity if you have anal, even if you have never had “regular” sex.
Teens sometimes forgo the condoms when they aren’t worrying about pregnancy, but doing so is a risky gamble. Are you sure you and your boyfriend don’t have any STDs? Have either of you had anal or oral (not to mention vaginal) sex with someone in the past? If so, you could have an STD — even if you feel fine and don’t have symptoms.
If you want to wait to have vaginal sex until you are married, that’s fine. But don’t substitute other forms of sex without protecting yourself. Doing that could leave you you and your future husband with some pretty nasty infections that you might not feel like explaining on your honeymoon.
