my boyfriend and I tried to have sex a few times but it just doesn’t work!
Unpublished post, originally written 10/18/08 for my now defunct state of sex education blog on gURL.
Q: My boyfriend and I tried to have sex a few times but it just doesn’t work! It never seems to go in and i don’t understand what the problem is.
A: Hmmm, could be a few things.
1) You might not be lubricated enough.
2) You boyfriend might not be fully erect, or he might partially lose his erection before penetration.
3) You might need to guide the penis with your hand.
4) You might have a smallish vagina and he might have a biggish penis.
So what can you do? Well, you can try lube for one. You can also try penetration with a finger first, and then work up to two before inserting the penis.
People also usually need to place the penis into the vagina with a hand, (either yours or his). That’s because typically the penis doesn’t just effortlessly glide into the vagina, so helping out a bit can make all the difference.
Also, while most penises fit into most vaginas, if he is on the bigger side, and you are on the smaller side, then you might just need to go more slowly and work your way in. Some people don’t try for full penetration all at once, but rather just try to work the penis in a little at a time over the course of a few sessions.
Of course, if you are nervous, you might be inadvertently clenching your vaginal muscles and making penetration difficult. If you think this might be the issue, you can either try to relax, or you can hold off on intercourse for a little while until you feel more comfortable.
Has this happened to any of the gURLs out there? How did you deal with it?
