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My book, Good Sexual Citizenship: How to Create a (Sexually) Safer World from from Cleis Press is out now. (Order here).


Most of us want to be decent people in the world. Yet when it comes to sex, we so often stumble and contribute to sexual injustice. Think about it: are we really still blaming victims of sexual assaults? Can it truly be that there is a gender based orgasm gap? Are we actually labeling people based on the kind of sex they do or don’t have? Why do we insist on questioning if sex is consensual when someone’s passed out drunk?


Good Sexual Citizenship asks us all to break down sexual hostility and build up something better. Covering topics like consent, sexual assault, pleasure, double standards, casual sex, hook-up culture, and teen sex, I offer with tools to navigate societal messages, sexually hostile climates, stereotypes, and outdated mentalities.

This book is written for anyone—but especially the educators, the parents, the fellow students, the coworkers, the employers—who have helplessly looked around in the midst of some type of sexual injustice wondering, “What can I do?”

What people are saying:

"Friedrichs does an excellent job of highlighting intersectionality (race, gender, class, and sexuality) within sexual citizenship. The author also focuses on culture and its impact on survivors, perpetrators, and bystanders and emphasizes intimate justice, which is not just about obtaining consent but ending unsatisfying, painful, and/or abusive sex. She connects historical context to current struggles and policies and often cites relevant and cross-disciplinary literature. At the end of each chapter, Friedrichs provides thought-provoking, constructive lists and exercises that could be aptly converted into class discussions at many developmental levels. This could have great utility as required reading for a university human sexuality course." -Psychology of Women Quarterly Journal

"As a longtime sexuality, sexual health and relationships educator and activist, I feel that Ellen lays out exactly the kind of foundation that underscores all of the best sexuality messaging for truly healthy sexual relationships, interactions and culture on the whole. She does so clearly and comprehensively; with great grace and heart." -- Heather Corinna, founder of & author of S.E.X: The All-You-Need-To-Know Sexuality Guide to Get You Through Your Teens and Twenties

"Inclusive, intersectional, and packed with both important historical data and proactive steps to moving forward, Ellen Friedrichs has written a powerful primer to sexual and social justice. It's the perfect tool for parents, educators, and any reader interested in furthering positive, just, healthy sexuality." — Al Vernacchio, Author of For Goodness Sex

"This fantastic book beautifully and accessibly explains essential information anyone needs to know when navigating sex and relationships in today's world. From novice to expert, it's a must-read." — Elise Schuster, co-founder, okayso

“When the world seems more topsy turvy than usual, it is important to remember that we have the power and responsibility to make it better...and that starts with good sexual citizenship. Friedrichs’ playbook lays out the rationale and tools for developing these essential skills. This is the manual you need to build confidence in tackling double standards, building inclusive and equitable environments and relationships, and making the world a safer place for all.” — Logan Levkoff, author, Got Teens?: The Doctor Moms' Guide to Sexuality, Social Media and Other Adolescent Realities

“A must-read for every parent, teacher, or human who has ever felt like our society’s relationship to sexuality is flawed and believes we all deserve a healthier and more empowering culture around sexuality. Ellen Friedrichs shares practical, actionable steps we can all take to make that new culture a reality.” — Julia Feldman, founder of Giving the Talk